To the Friends That Just Get Me

Somehow, as you succeed in your original goal to become their friend and get to know them better, they find a way to open you up, wrap their arms around the entirety that makes you who you are, and identify with it.

In life, you meet all kinds of people. There’s that old saying about different friends that goes, “Some are here for a reason, a season, or a lifetime.”

In my experience, sometimes you meet friends and you don’t know if they’re a reason, a season, or a lifetime, but there’s something clearly different about these people. For whatever reason, you’re immediately drawn to them. It’s as if two puzzle pieces are finally coming together. It’s that feeling of, “we just click,” or “there’s just something…” or, “I want to be their friend!”

There’s a moment where you are together and you feel something in the air. You feel the vibe between the two of you, and you can sense the connection.

People that have experienced this feeling with a stranger (or acquaintance) know exactly what I’m talking about. Those that haven’t are probably misunderstanding what I’m describing as something romantic.

It isn’t.

I assure you, the connection I’m describing is purely platonic.

That’s not to say you shouldn’t have these things in a romantic relationship, but the point is that you meet these people, platonically, and you have no reason to feel connected to them…yet you do.

It immediately (or very quickly) feels like these people get you. It feels like whatever you’re hiding deep inside is being seen. It is an experience of not only being looked at, but looked into.

That can be very scary.

At the most basic start, these individuals understand you at your core.

You probably don’t know them very well. You might not even have much in common. Yet still, there’s something that makes you feel like you are cut from the same cloth. There’s something about their soul that matches yours.

(Soul is such a superficial word. It’s overused in every love story, and I loathe the fact that I myself am using it now, but how else do I describe the essence that lives inside of your biological shell to make you an individual?)

You don’t know them very well at first, but you have a drive to continue to get to know them. As you do, they begin to see even further into you. If you picture your soul as a hallway, straight from one point to the next, they immediately see you for whatever exists at the end of your own personal hallway.

They see the final destination from the start. 

As you get to know each other, they start to open the various doors that exist throughout the hall, at various levels of openness, and they find the nooks and crannies that you thought were locked down and hidden away for sure.

Somehow, as you succeed in your original goal to become their friend and get to know them better, they find a way to open you up, wrap their arms around the entirety that makes you who you are, and identify with it. Not only do they accept you for who you are, but they love you for it. They love you for your perfections and your flaws.

It’s something you don’t need to be told. You are shown.

I haven’t always been someone full of self-confidence, and some days, I’m still working on it. I’ve struggled through the years with making friends, keeping them, and figuring out, when it comes to friends, that it’s quality over quantity.

It is only within the last few years I’ve really come to recognize that I’m blessed to have a few of these high-quality, weirdly-connected, friends in my life.

To those friends, I say thank you.

Thank you for your understanding when I make a joke that only I think is funny.
You let me laugh anyway, and because I am laughing, you laugh, too. (You still don’t think the joke is funny, but my laugh is something you find hilarious.)

Thank you for the moments when you know I eat like I’m 10, and if it’s a new restaurant, I need them to serve chicken fingers.
Thank you for your insistence of grabbing my menu and just telling me what it is that I want. You even order for me when I just don’t understand or you fight for me in the group chat by repeating to everyone that, “Mollie will have nothing to eat there.” (I will also forever be grateful for you getting me an extra ranch while I am in the bathroom.)

Thank you for letting me sit in the same room as you, and not having to do anything.
You let me simply co-exist with you, and that is a true gift. We watch a TV show, a movie, or I watch from your couch while on my phone as you bustle around the house and do the things you need to do.

I ride in the car with you as you deposit a check at the bank, pick up a gallon of milk from Kroger, and then stop at Target for various household items you need in the next 3 days. I follow along, and we talk. I am simply alive while you are alive, in the same place, at the same time. It is refreshing, it is rejuvenating, and it is truly my favorite form of hanging out.

Thank you for the times you don’t want to deal with me.
When you’ve had enough, or I need too much support and you don’t think you can keep holding up the both of us, you keep going. Thank you for pushing through. Thank you for loving me and cherishing our friendship more than the amount of energy you have left.

To that same end, thank you for recognizing when you aren’t able to help. You recognize and admit when you aren’t able to hold me and yourself up at the same time, and that is powerful. It means you see yourself for who you are and what you are capable of. It means you care about me and our friendship more than your pride needs you to be “the friend that fixed it.”

Thank you for the days where you send me a text for no reason.
A photo you think I would like or a video that made you laugh are what I’m talking about. It’s texts without a caption, or ones that include a link and a simple laughing emoji. They come at all times of day, at all moments, and it’s exciting to think it could show up when I’m not even thinking about it.

Some way, and somehow, you send these on the days when I’m most exhausted and feel most invisible to the world. On the days I feel like I can’t get anything right and everyone has forgotten about me, you send me something that tells me that you get me, you believe in me, or you care. Most often than not, this isn’t said directly, but the message always exists.

When I feel most invisible, you make me feel seen.

Thank you for understanding that sometimes I just need you to tell me I’m not crazy.
This isn’t because I truly think I am. It’s because I’m an anxious person, and you know that. You’re willing to take 5 minutes to write a text and help me fight the battle that is mental health. You’re sacrificing your time for my well being, and that is something that never goes unappreciated.

Thank you for always taking my side.
Even if I’m wrong, you support me as if I’m right.

Thank you for telling me when I am wrong.
You tell me kindly, bluntly, and helpfully. I’m not sure how those three words go together, but somehow you make it happen while still supporting me (just not my choices).

Thank you for seeing when you’ve been a bad friend.
I get it. We’re all busy. Some days, I barely have time to breathe, let alone find time and muster up the energy to hold a conversation with someone else.

This is normal.

It’s part of life.

It’s okay.

That being said, it doesn’t always make for the greatest of friends. Thank you for taking the time to reach out, assure me the friendship still exists, and that your behavior is truly a matter of your own calendar than something I’ve done.

Thank you for keeping me on my toes.
You give as good as you get from me, and that’s something that’s rare to find. As a rather witty human, I often struggle to find anyone that can not only keep up, but challenge me.

You do that.

You’re honest with me when I sound like a total jerk, and you don’t worry about how I’m going to react.

That’s something a person like me needs.

Those are the moments that bring me the most joy. I feel like I belong, like I’ve found my people, like I’m allowed to be who I am in that moment with you. I feel like I won’t be judged, and even more so, I’ll be accepted with open arms for exactly who I am, not the superficial version of myself that I create for most to witness.

I get to be me, flaws and all.

It’s a truly underrated experience.

Thank you for letting me be the person I am without having to explain myself. Thank you for knowing what I mean when I say that thing that sounds way worse than I intend it to because of who I am as a person.

You don’t second guess me, and then I don’t second guess myself.

You don’t have to ask why I am the way that I am, because you already know, and you accept it.

Thank you for being my friend.

They teach you in middle school that friends aren’t based on quantity, but in quality. It’s the people that make you feel good. It’s the people that are there for you when you’re laughing, and on their way to your place when you’re sad. It’s the people that accept you for who you are, support you when you’re wrong, tell you when you’re wrong, and send you funny things because it just made them think of you.

These are the people that make the best days better and the worst days bearable. They’re the people that do that cliche thing where they love you even when you don’t love yourself (insert rolling eyes here). They’re the ones standing on the sidelines cheering for you when you feel like you can’t make it to the finish.

I am overcome with emotion as I realize the blessings that I have because I have people like this in my life.

They are true people.

They are good people.

They are real people.

More than anything else, they are people that, in a world where time is of the essence, choose to spend theirs with me.

Your efforts do not go unnoticed.

I am here, and I am thankful.

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